Feeling Stuck? How to Discern What You Really Need to Move Forward

After leading our recent Ayurvedic retreat, I’ve been reflecting on a concern I hear again and again from my patients, clients and friends: “I feel stuck.”

In Ayurveda, symptoms and feelings are often described in terms of qualities or attributes . "Stuckness" might be seen as dull instead of bright, heavy instead of light, static instead of mobile. These qualities point to a Kapha imbalance—the Earth-and-Water tendency toward inertia. However, I notice this isn’t only true for Kapha types. I see it in fiery Pitta personalities and airy, creative Vatas as well.

My teacher, Rod Stryker, once told me: “The opposite of courage is not fear, but inertia.” This has stayed with me, and I think it is relevant here. When we’re stuck, it’s not always about being afraid—it’s often about losing the will, the energy, or the clarity to move forward.

From what I’ve observed, there seem to be at least two very different kinds of "stuckness":

1. The Loop of Attachment / Detachment– This is when you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, expecting new results. This kind of inertia looks like clinging to habitual patterns and circling around the same lessons without moving through them (Attachment). It can also include taking on too many responsibilities or actions that aren’t tied to personal passion or joy (Detachment). This loop often calls for the spark of Tejas—mobility, sharpness, and the courage to break the cycle.

2. The Loop of Exhaustion – This is when you try everything, but in a scattered or very externalized way. Instead of going deep in one direction, your energy is spread across many small or incomplete attempts, leaving you feeling depleted and burned out. This kind of stuckness doesn’t need more fire—it needs the steadiness of Tamas, applied with intention, to ground and re-center.

If these terms are new to you, consider the analogy of a mucky, cloudy pond.

• A tamasic pond is murky because it’s heavy and full of muck - there is very little movement in or out of this pond.

• A rajasic pond is unclear because it’s stirred up and turbulent.

One could easily get stuck in either of these ponds. However, neither tamas nor tejas are inherently negative. What both ponds are missing is clarity. In Ayurveda, there is a third guna - a quality of clarity, purity and light. This is Sattwa.

When combined with and guided by sattwa, tamas offers stability, discipline, and the firm roots we need to move grow and move past our shadows. On the other hand, when tejas is combined with the brightness and purity of sattwa, we benefit from energy to stir things up and create momentum.

So the real question is: If you feel stuck - what kind of pond are you in right now?

If your pond feels mucky, heavy, stale or uninspired, you may need the light of action, inspiration, and courage. If your pond feels agitated and over-stirred you may need grounding, stillness, and the discipline to stay with one thing long enough to process and go deeper.

Therefore, getting unstuck isn’t about forcing yourself to “do more.” It’s about discerning which quality—steadiness or energy—you need to invite in.

Reflection Prompts to Help You Get Unstuck

Take a few minutes to sit quietly with a notebook and write whatever comes up. There are no wrong answers—just curiosity and honesty.

1. Noticing the Pond

   • Does my “pond” feel heavy and murky, or stirred up and agitated?

   • What does that sensation feel like in my body?

2. Exploring the Pattern

   • Where in my life am I repeating the same lessons or cycles?

   • Where am I scattering my energy into too many directions at once?

3. Inviting Balance

   • If I’m in heaviness (tamas), what small spark could I invite to bring clarity and movement?

   • If I’m in overactivity (rajas), what grounding or steadying practice could I commit to?

4. A Gentle Step Forward

   • What is one small step I can take this week to move toward balance?